Jaded Soul
by Child Of the Faeries
Summary: Just a quick fic about Joe wishing he could be someone else... jyoumi and mimato hints, nothing much, r & r.


Jaded Soulby Child of the Faeries  
  
  
  
Mimi bent over Joe, trying to read what was written on the paper. "What are you doing, Joe?" she asked, a sweet smile on her face. He looked up and adjusted his glasses, one of his nervous habits.  
  
"N-Nothing.... just studing for a test," he muttered, looking back down at the pages. Mimi bent to sit down next to him, and his reflexes kicked in, skittering away from her. His heart thumped wildly, and color was rising to his cheeks.  
  
"Hey, Mimi!" Matt called from farther down the shore. "Come here!" His devilish blue eyes danced merrily, and Mimi stood up, hurrying to join his side.   
  
Joe looked down at the muddled text, pretending to study for his lastest test. In reality, his mind was elsewhere.   
  
The seaspray splashed onto his face, and he stood up, disgusted with himself. His clothes and the pages of the book were soaking. "Why am I always so dumb?" he muttered to himself. "I never can do anything right."  
  
Walking to a dry area, he looked at the other Digidestined who were busy building a camp fire and setting out the food. His eyes drifted over the group, finally landing on Mimi and Matt.   
  
Matt smiled, his golden hair shining in the dying sunlight, making him almost look like a god. Joe sighed. He had always wished that he could be like Matt, so cool and collected. Everyone liked Matt. Girls lined up outside the bathroom at school just to get a cold glare from his icy sapphire eyes.  
  
Pulling out his golden harmonica, he collapsed into the beach, Mimi at his side, a smile radiating from her face. He put the harmonica to his mouth, a few rare notes slipping out to join the gentle roar of the ocean. She leaned against him, her pink hair dancing in the breeze.  
  
Joe felt his heart sink, and he adverted his eyes. He thought back to the Digital World, when he had thought that he might actually have a chance with Mimi. Of course, all of them had thought that the beautiful goddess might like them. In the end, Joe realized it was some kind on an ironic twist of fate that the god and goddess would be joined in love. It all made a cruel kind of sense to his jaded eyes.   
  
Sora called to him, announcing that the food was ready. Sitting around the fire, he felt strangely out of place inside his circle of friends. Tai and Sora had their arms linked around each other, a secret smile played across their lips. Kari and TK were laughing, and Matt was still on the beach, Mimi at his side. Izzy, bless his heart, was typing away on his laptop, never taking a moment away to enjoy life.  
  
Hours passed as Joe stared into the red-hot coals of the fire, feeling his life slowly being peeled away. Each agonizing second was like another drop of hot oil onto his soul.  
  
The others rose, wiping the sand from their clothes. "We're all going to Matt's concert," Sora said with a smile. "Want to come with?"  
  
Joe's eyes darted to Mimi, and he shook his head. "I can't. Things like that bother my allergies."  
  
"Oh, come on, Joe!" Mimi said from the back. "I really want you to come."  
  
"I can't," Joe whispered slowly, raising his hands pathetically.   
  
"All right," Tai said, doubt on his face. "If you don't want to come, we won't make you." The group turned away and left Joe where he was sitting.  
  
After they had left, Joe rose and stood in the sand where Matt and Mimi had been sitting. What it must feel like to be so popular, he mused to himself. If only I could have been the one to gain Mimi's love..... Oh, how he envied Matt.  
  
Kicking the sand, he noticed a glint of gold and bent down. Matt's harmonica had fallen out of his pocket when they were leaving, and now was lying forlorn in the sand.  
  
With trembling fingers, Joe picked it up and held it in his hands. Such a little thing... and yet it was the symbol of something he could never have.  
  
Putting it to his lips, he blew through it, hoping to catch a bit of the beauty Matt was able to spin with ease. Only harsh, discordant notes met his ears, and he cringed. Again he tried, each time worse than the last.   
  
A bitter tear rolled down his face as he tried again. More tears ensued as he learned that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be as good as Matt.  
  
"Why? Why can't I be as good as you?" he cried desperately, glaring angrily at the cursed harmonica. A sob rose in his throat, and he closed his eyes, leaning back onto the cold sand. "Why aren't I good enough?"  
  
  
  



End file.
